My mother's pubic hair

I went out to dinner with friends on saturday evening and the conversation turned - as it does - to sexual obsessions and fetishes. In particular a man recently arrested for collecting pubic hair from the travel luggage of women flying business or first class. An interesting fetish!

'I had one of my mother's pubic hairs for a long time.' I entered the conversation casually, I thought.But no!

This disclosure of mine required explaining.

When my mother died my sisters and I spent the afternoon sitting on her bed and clearing through her personal possessions. it was an interesting experience, things she had collected and hoarded that made no sense to us. I have a champagne cork dated and kept - marked with several exclamation marks and nothing else. A gold dip pen nib, heavily engraved but also anonymous.

In many ways I love that she kept things but felt no need to elaborate - proof that she kept them for herself only, I believe and love about her!

She had a very small collection of antique silk french knickers and I took these. I remember her buying each pair and her delight in such sensual, delicious under garments in an age when most people wore sensible cotton. These were sheer and draped, without seams or labels!

When I returned home I took them up to my bedroom. It was my intention to have them folded and tucked into my knicker drawer - a tiny reminder I would see each morning and so I sat on my bed to fold them.

It was at this time I found my mother's pubic hair caught in the silk mesh of cream fabric and for some reason I removed it and looked at it.

I remember that moment clearly. I was looking at a most intimate visual of my dead mother and I cried cried at my loss, her beauty and charm and her delight in her french knickers! I put the hair carefully in the locket she had given me and revisited it from time to time.

It stayed there for a long time - until my toddler daughter began exploring my things and pulled out all my jewelry to play with. The hair disappeared  - gone forever and I said goodbye to it in tears on my bed  - it was my last link with my dead mother!!